is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
