There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
