i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We had sex on a dog bed..
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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