There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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