You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
