Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She bit a glass in half.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
