My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
