How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize