As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
