It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
