Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
