Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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