i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
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