It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
