Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
