I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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