spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
