i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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