Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You ruined the universe
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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