Your tits are I can't wait for
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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