Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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