The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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