why didn't you poke me back
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
