Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
