fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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