I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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