ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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