ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
you never un-have a 4some
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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