Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
