u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
