Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
