WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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