Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
