i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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