My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
