Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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