She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize