Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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