my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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