Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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