I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
