i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
