i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
