I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
