please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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