Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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