I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize