I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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