Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
its liver damage thursday
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
