bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
In other news, I just burned my penis
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
