i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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