we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
