You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
