the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
