We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
