I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
