where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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