he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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