Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
organizing the empties. That sober.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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