If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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