we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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