I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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