The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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