if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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