Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize