i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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